Annoyance

While doing the daily scan for headlines concerning sexual violence issues, I found a story about an international hunt for a suspected child rapist. The man in question was arrested, and admits to having traveled to a third world country for the purpose of having sex with young boys. A search of his home turned up 1,000 sexually explicit photos of children and little boy underpants, including at least one pair the suspect described as being a souvenir from his "date" over seas.



But, it gets better . . . this guy made his living entertaining at children's parties and playing santa.

My annoyance comes in from the neighbors and acquaintances quoted in the story about the arrest . . . and I see this sort of thing all the time locally. They all say that he was a wonderful guy and the best santa ever and that he never molested their children so they can't believe these charges are true.

When people express sentiments like this . . . they are working several things at once. They want to reassure themselves that their children weren't victimized and they are trying to wrap their brains around the fact they didn't spot the pervert from 100 yards. But, saying things like this can work to silence victims and their families as well as legitimize the deviant behaviors practiced by people like this guy.

Chilling

I have written before, and posted a link to the NPR story, about rape and native women and our society's failure to respond adequately. (That's putting it politely.)

Later this year, I will be participating in a panel discussion about the problem of sexual violence and native women at a national conference. I will be appearing with academics, direct service workers, one of my volunteers, and women representing native women living on and off reservations. In preparation for my participation, I have received a full copy of the Amnesty International report called "Maze of Injustice: the failure to protect indegenous women from sexual violence in the USA."

Just typing the title makes chills run down my back and arms.

My agency has been operating for just shy of 20 years. The most established rape crisis programs have been in operation for just shy of 40 years. Nearly a quarter of the counties in my state don't have a rape crisis center within their county - and our state has pretty good coverage of services. However, the vast majority of rape crisis services offered in my state are combined into agencies offering other services and often sexual assault services are just lumped in with everything else.

But, it still shocks me that we so openly ignore a particularly vulnerable community of peoples. The reservation system requires that we devote resources to adequately serve the people living there. If we tell whole communities how they must live, where they must live, how much money they are allowed to earn, etc . . . then we need to take providing for their "life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness" seriously . . . one could argue that we have the responsibility to take it more seriously than we do for people we grant more freedoms.

I'm glad light is being shed . . . and I and all to honored to be one of the people focusing the spotlight.

Campus safety

Click on the title for the article. Since it is an opinion piece in a regional paper, I'm not sure how long you'll be able to access it.

A friend sent me this . . . because we have discussed my ideas about "feel good security" and token acts to appear that we want to make changes in the crime rate . . . especially violent crime against women. Politically, it makes good press to say you're against violence against women . . . like rape, stalking, and domestic abuse . . . but in reality, we still worry more about homeless pets than we do victims of violent crime.

This op-ed piece reminds me of a NPR story I heard years ago about men on death row. The commenter observed that every man on death row he'd interviewed had a history of violence prior to the act that got them to death row. If we take the "milder" forms of violence (meaning anything short of murder) more seriously . . . offering substantial jail terms for violence and long-term, ongoing supervision . . . we might have a less violent society in the long run. And, then we wouldn't be so worried about the crazy guy getting a gun.

35 years and counting

Today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. I imagine that it is the single most protested supreme court decision ever.

This morning, on the radio I heard that a new tactic of the "pro-life" set is to lobby for legislation granting legal "personhood" to fertilized eggs from the moment of fertilization . . . granting them legal status and rights. This goes along with their other tactics of trying to cast abortion as a huge factor in the long term mental health of women . . . etc.

I worry about any legislation granting "personhood" to a fertilized egg.

On one hand, I think that a murdering a woman who is in the advanced stages of pregnancy ought to carry slightly different charges than a non-pregnant woman. (I'm thinking of quite a few stories in the media of women who were 7,8, or even 9 months pregnant and murdered. I can imagine that there would be discussion if the woman were in early stages and could the criminal be reasonably expected to know she was pregnant? Was it a partner? or was it a stranger or near stranger who claimed to not know about the pregnancy . . .but I digress.)

On the other hand, granting legal rights and status to a fertilized egg is just one step away from telling women they don't control their own bodies.

I argued once with a man who advocated that women face criminal charges if it is found that they consumed any alcohol at anytime during the pregnancy . . . even before she was aware she was pregnant. Basically . . . he advocated banning women of child bearing age from consuming alcohol.

I am aware of another woman who was put on bed rest by her doctor in her 6th month . . . and she disregarded the medical advice, and after a weekend of mowing the lawn, shopping, going to church, going out to eat, she delivered early and the child died. If we grant legal status and rights to the unborn, are we telling women that if they don't follow medical advice 100% and the unthinkable happens . . . they will face criminal charges?

When are we going to have pregnancy centers where all pregnant women are sent so that they might be monitored during their pregnancies because our society doesn't trust them to care for themselves or make decisions for themselves?

That's the danger of these proposals . . . they sound harmless enough . . . until you start looking at the larger implications and how and when they will be enforced.

Abortion exists in a society where "abstinence" education has replaced good, sound sex ed. I've seen my state's approved 9th grade health text . . . they never mention that controlling fertility is an option . . . even within marriage. They explicitly state that parenthood in an inevitable step in life. There are no other options. Abortion exists in a society in which there is inadequate access to birth control . . . and men and women are bombarded with sexualized messages about every aspect of life. Abortion exists in a society where violence and rape are tolerated within certain limits . . . and especially if the victims are marginalized in the first place.

In this society, abortion is a necessary fact.

Another Observation on the Marine

I understand that the wife of the accused killer is a young mother, is looking at probably never having her husband back, and the horrible realization that the man she married is probably a killer . . . because who is gonna believe that some one's bat crazy co-worker came over, extorted money and then killed herself by cutting her own throat? But, I still think that some where along the line she should be facing charges of her own . . . if she cleaned up blood . . . accessory to murder . . . and for giving him a 24 hour head start.

I have other opinions . . . but it would be impolitic to comment at this time.

Marine Shame

We, in the office, have been following and discussing this case of the murdered/raped marine. We are pretty horrified over the fact of it. We are upset over what appears to be real problems with how this young woman's employers handled her case.

First, according the media --- since I don't have first hand knowledge and I do understand the limits of media reports --- she first reported the rape last April . . . but the Corps didn't reassign the two involved in the case to separate work areas until mid May. Then, after reporting the rape, the young woman seeks maternity treatment. Since the military keeps such a watchful eye over their people, you'd think this would have raised eyebrows.

Then, the woman felt compelled to move off base into civilian housing because of harassment she received from her colleagues. This sounds like she wasn't receiving the type of support and protection she needed and deserved and the military has the responsibility to provide. Then, finally, 8 months after reporting the rape, she is finally due to testify in a grand jury like hearing . . . and goes missing? And the military did nothing to verify her whereabouts? These people know what color you poop, and yet they didn't report her missing or check to make sure she'd not suffered a medical emergency?

When her family reported her missing to civilian authorities, it appears from the media reports, that not only was the corps not helpful, they intentionally sent law enforcement in the wrong direction. The media reports I've read say that the corps told local law enforcement that the man now being sought was "not a threat" to her and that they were "on friendly terms." If he wasn't a threat, why did the military have a protective order that they renewed 3 times (again, according to media reports) ordering him to not have contact with her? And, if they were on friendly terms, why was she going to testify that he raped her and was the father of her unborn child?

But the big question is . . . . how bright do you have to be to scratch your head and say "huh? I wonder if this is means something?" when the accuser and accused in a rape case both go missing the day before an important hearing? I know I've had my complaints about local law enforcement . . . but I'm reasonably confident that even in my little town, local authorities would find it worth looking into.

I think the corps failed this young woman . . . a woman who was able to endure the rigorous training of the marines . . . and who was willing to die for her country. I think the marines owed her more than what she got. And, the cynic in me who is so willing to believe the worst in people wonders if the man in question isn't hidden on another base, in marine custody, right now.

The Other Supreme Court/death penalty case

Click on the title for a link to the article I reference.

This morning, while driving to the office, I listened to an NPR story about the upcoming death penalty case to be heard by the supreme court. Then, reading the NY Times in the office, I see that there is another case NPR didn't mention.

The Supreme Court is going to hear an appeal from a man who was sentenced to death for the rape of an 8 year old child.

According to the article, the court decided in 1977 that the death penalty should only apply to murder convictions because although rape is horrible, the victim remains alive. However, in recent years and with recent high media cases, a few states have passed legislation allowing for the death penalty upon the conviction of rape of a child under the age of 12.

I personally am conflicted on the death penalty. The young and idealistic part of me thinks that a evolved society shouldn't NEED the death penalty. However, the realistic part of me understands that we aren't there yet. Far from it.

I can see arguments for both sides of the death penalty issue. Although I personally come down to a very practical, economic stance. I would much rather see the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent each year for EACH person on death row go to victim services. I don't quite see the value of spending so much to keep people alive who have demonstrated clearly that they are unwilling to live within the most basic of social rules.

I'm not sure how I feel about the death penalty in child rape cases. I think the easy answer is to say that they should be taken one at a time. Clearly, someone who has raped lots and lots of children is unwilling or incapable of living with larger society . . . and can we really deny services to the victims because all our money is going to support the perp?

Then again, just the thought of the ugly orange jumpsuit and the shame of my family has always been deterrent enough for me.

The Britney Factor

For some reason, myself included, we can't help but be fascinated by the whole Britney Spears thing. But why? Surely there are more interesting people. There are more compelling news stories.

I have a few ideas why . . . I think she, and her troubles represent our collective fears as well as reflect our society in a stark way.

One, she was a child who was portrayed by her sexuality at a very young age. In a way, she was sexually abused by the world. She was given the idea at a tender age that her only real worth was her body and how she used and gave us access to it. I can only imagine what it does to your self image for PepsiCo to "digitally enhance" a your teen aged bust line to sell more soda pop.

Two, she more or less embodied what has become the new American dream . . . to make it big in show business. But she doesn't seem to have much of a safety net. Heiresses like Paris Hilton have the whole of their families to stand behind them if they fall . . . but girls like Britney have their whole family falling with them. It isn't fair that she was put in a position to support her family at such a young age.

Three, she has made quite a few mistakes . . . and a few calculated moves . . . none of which she seems to have recovered from. There was the 54 hour marriage. Then there was stealing a man from another woman who was pregnant. The quick pregnancies . . . which would tax anyone. The parties. The pictures. The courting the cameras. The shocking behavior that didn't do anything for her image. It seems that she moves from bad judgement to bad judgement. I don't know if she is refusing good advice or not getting it.

Four, I think she has become the embodiment of the "bad mother." I think all women who have children worry that they will be bad mothers. Every mom I know questions herself daily. I can't help but think that moms everywhere are both saddened and repulsed by Britney. And I suspect moms everywhere thank the stars they don't have every move documented the way she does.

Five, she's in a mess and it isn't clear how she's getting out. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem inclined to check into rehab and take it seriously. She doesn't seem terribly capable of taking control of her life in a meaningful way. Other young stars take time out for college . . . or they drop out . . .work on themselves, and then pop back on the scene. I think it would take even more of what's going down for Britney to feel that she's hit bottom.

I see this last thing with lots of clients. They feel that they are in a fish bowl . . . that everyone around them can see right through them. They have gotten into a rut of how they react to their lives . . . and it appears that it will take monumental strength to make changes . . . strength they don't believe they have. But ultimately, for all of us, we have to live our own lives . . . do what is right for us . . . and not worry if people are looking or not. That's a whole lot easier said than done.

Cancer Ads

I absolutely hate the breast cancer ad that features a lacy bra and has the caption "Save the Ta-Tas" because it's not about saving breasts. It is about saving lives. It is about saving mostly women's lives.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, given our society's willingness to marginalize and objectify women into just random body parts.

So, a couple of weeks ago, while on a long drive, I thought up a similar campaign for men that hopefully would make people think twice about the whole ta-tas thing. It was "save the assholes" -- and an admonishment to get checked for colon/rectal cancer.

This week I saw another breast cancer ad -- it said "squish a boob, save a life" and it had a fat little pink penguin on it. Although some may not see the difference - I like this ad. It focuses on lives. It could be referring to the process of a mammogram. And, the penguin is just confusing enough to make it totally non-sexual.

So, go squish yer boobs.

Confession

I saw on the news that a small town church has created a website on which people can confess their sins and shames, and receive Christian support. All confessions are anonymous and can be in a variety of topics, although the "sexual" topic is the most popular thus far. I've not read most of the posts, but I understand that there is a fair amount of admitting addiction to internet porn.

My interest was sparked when one of the "highlighted" confessions was a person who said that they were sexually abused from a young age until adolescence. They said that they had forgiven the perpetrator but still felt shame.

I have mixed feelings about web site confessions. There is little feed back - unlike when you confess to a sponsor or a minister. Also, a few of the confessions I saw were more confessions that there was something to confess without actually getting to the misdeed. And, I am troubled by someone thinking that the shame they feel from the abuse they endured as a child is equal to the person having an extra-marital affair. I also have issues with the rather passive approach to correcting behavior the posters clearly are ashamed of . . . . this notion that anonymously confessing on a web site and then expecting "God" to remove the sin and temptation.

I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a minister friend of mine years ago. She said that humans cannot control divine forgiveness, but that we can bestow human forgiveness upon each other. She says that in order for someone to be "eligible" for forgiveness, they must do three things:

1) admit to their behavior and the harm it created. All of the harm created. If your children grew up without the basic necessities because you were addicted to drugs, you must confess not only your addiction but also harming your children.

2) you must atone for your actions in a manner meaningful to the people you harmed. If your addiction denied your children the basics, you might atone by assisting in paying for their educations or paying for part of their groceries or donating money or time to children's shelters.

3) you must change your behavior. You must get treatment for your addiction. You must work to stay clean. You must change those behaviors. If being an active member of a church family helps - then do it. If having a personal relationship with God helps you maintain your sobriety, by all means, have it. But, don't expect that you don't have to do any of the work yourself because you show up in church on Sundays but do nothing else to help yourself.

I worry when sexual abuse victims believe they bear the burden of forgiving their abuser without the abuser doing anything to earn that forgiveness. And, I'm not sure a public but anonymous site for confession really counts as confession.

Under the influence

If you want to read the source article from the NY Times, click on the title of this post.

I remember watching parts of the HBO show "Capturing the Friedmens" and not being impressed. As anyone who watches television with a critical eye or has seen a Micheal Moore film, you can present evidence in a format that sounds like it might be balanced and truthful, but actually is rather biased and designed to lead the viewer to one specific conclusion.

I don't think I ever watched the whole program - simply because I thought it was bull.

Now, the man who was at the center of the show claims to have new evidence that the children in the case against him were hypnotized and influenced to "recall" abuse that never happened.

If you take the claim at face value, it appears he may have something worth looking into -- maybe not over turning his case, but taking a look. But, if you read the whole article, you see that the assertion is based on public speaking engagements from some of the therapists who treated the children central to the case, and in their lengthy talks, there is mention that sometimes, hypnosis can be a useful therapy tool for abused children in "cases like this." They never actually say "yes, we hypnotized the children, and only then did the children reveal or recall sexual abuse."

I'm mildly interested in this case. In the 80s (and early 90s) there were several cases of mass sexual abuse of children. These cases mostly happened before I started doing this work. They also happened at a time when most communities didn't have sexual assault crisis centers and when most therapists weren't required to be certified (at least in my state). Also, and we don't like to admit this often, there is still debate over the "best" way to treat abused children.

One of the problems is that with young children - it is difficult to lead them through cognitive processing. Other times, you have children who aren't invested in counseling. Other children may see the attentions and stresses surrounding the disclosure as negative and clam up. If the abuse created a dissolution of the family or household, it is difficult to encourage children to continue counseling. And, children are so heavily influenced by their parents, families.

If families aren't invested in counseling, children won't see the value in it. If family members question if the abuse happened, it feels like being disbelieved. Other times, family members will compact the shame the child feels, or openly blame the child for reporting it and bringing in outsiders to interfere.

I have no knowledge that would lead me to be able to say if this guy is guilty or innocent. I do have issues with the massive media attention on the very few cases of wrongful convictions (notice, I say media attention -- not on the wrongful conviction itself -- if there has been a wrongful conviction, our society owes it to the wrongfully convicted to be restored to their former life to the extent that we can.) and the little attention that is put on the issue of the many many many unsolved crimes in every community in America.

And, if we could prevent sexual abuse from happening in the first place, we wouldn't have to figure out ways to treat the victims.

Teacher/Student Inappropriate Activities

I've just been reading my hometown newspaper and see that a girl I went to high school with has been sentenced for inappropriate sexual activities with a student. Sigh. I can't say I am surprised. Not like there was anything in this woman's high school behavior that would lead me to think that 25 years later she'd be a sex offender. I'm not surprised because it just reminds me that anyone can be a sex offender.

I learned this when I was in high school. One of my teachers was convicted of sexually abusing a student. We had heard rumors of parties at this teacher's home for students who played sports. We'd heard rumors of her having an affair with one of the senior boys. We never dreamed that she'd be sexually abusing one of the younger girl ball players. Although, knowing what I know now, it fits. The girl she abused had a tough family/home life. She wasn't really popular and wasn't a stand out in the classroom or on the court. The perfect target for someone looking to prey on a vulnerable person.

Our local paper printed the whole transcript of the trial. I remember admiring the student for having the courage to testify -- even then I realized how difficult it would be to relate such details in front of strangers. We also learned from the trial that the teacher in question had lost a job in another state for similar activities and had been banned from teaching in that state. She moved on to our state. I remember thinking then that even though the judge ordered her to never teach again, I was pretty sure that in a couple years time (when she got out of jail) she'd must move on to another state.

This is why we need to link state sex offender registries so that it is harder for offenders to just move to a new place and set up shop again. Or make it easier for school systems to do back ground checks. It's not a cure-all, but a tool.

Confessions

I've been following the coverage of the multiple guilty pleas of kidnapper/sex offender Michael Devlin. He's the guy who kidnapped the two boys - several years apart - and inflicted all sorts of tortures and horrors on the boys, especially the first boy.

Initially, there weren't many details but lots of innuendos made in the media. We all pretty much knew that there was some sexual torture going on - even if no one would say it out loud. We also knew that Devlin had been using the older boy has his own personal puppet and the most heinous of mental games/abuses had happened.

I'm just cynical enough to wonder how much Devlin is "enjoying" the retelling of his crimes in vivid detail. I know that he must admit to his actions as part of his pleas - but I also suspect there is some pleasure in it for him too.

I also have to applaud the parents of the boys because it seems that they are shielding their boys from the media. I hope they are getting the counseling, assistance, and tutors they need to help work towards restoring them. And, I'm happy to see that so many jurisdictions are doing their part to insure this guy is never trolling the streets again.

The Law

Today, I heard a story in NPR about Oregon will be extending rights to domestic partnerships -- such as survivorship rights or child custody rights. The state is careful to point out that this is not recognizing gay marriage - but that couples that do not marry (gay or otherwise) do require legal remedies/protections that are normally extended to married couples.

This got me thinking about the living aspects of our laws. Yes, our laws are living. They grow, they change, the reflect the society we become. When the men writing the constitution were hard at work, they could not have anticipated that someday we would need laws to protect children from Internet predators. This is why they created a function by which our Constitution and laws could be updated and changed.

Our laws are a reflection of our values and our condition as a society. Some aspects of our laws are judgemental - such as the penal code. Other aspect of our law merely create a standard under which citizens can find remedy or protections. This part of our law isn't judgemental.

This is why I'm a tad baffled at the push from some quarters to make gay marriages illegal or deny protections to gay couples. First, there are long lasting, monogamous gay and not-gay couples all over. Some choose for themselves the securities and instant social recognition of marriage - others are denied it or reject it for themselves. But, this doesn't mean those couples are less worthy of inheriting shared properties. It doesn't mean that children of these relationships are just out of luck if their parents split up -- one parent isn't just going to disappear.

Laws extending rights and protections to unmarried but committed couples/families is more about creating a structure for difficult situations than it is about threatening the marriages of those folks lucky enough to have the right to get married.

Just as we are quick to create laws regulating where convicted sex offenders can or cannot live - we should also be quick to offer all families equal protections under the law.

Compounding the injustice

As is custom, click on the title to go to the story in question.

I imagine that other folks have followed with some interest the case of the US prosecutor who was arrested in an airport as he traveled to have sex with a 5 year old child. He had been chatting on-line with undercover cops who posed as the mother of the imaginary child. In the two weeks of chatting, the two had struck a bargain in which the prosecutor believed he was going to get a hot date with a 5 year old. When he was arrested, he was carrying earrings (for the mother), a dora doll, and petroleum jelly. EEEUUUUUWWWWWWW

This prosecutor was married, had children, and as far as the people in his community knew - a stand up guy who coached kids teams. (Okay, group shudder.)

I don't quite understand how anyone would think sex with a 5 year old would be so hot as to jeopardize everything in your life. Even if he wasn't thinking of his career - the years of study and work he undertook to earn his position of trust - he should have been thinking about how his family would bear this burden. Did he really believe he would never be found out? How many other children has he met that were actually children? Is there a trail of children in our country who have encountered this man before a random cop found him? I have a hard time believing that this is his first and only transgression.

The prosecutor killed himself in jail this weekend. He deprived our society and his family the opportunity to ask "Why?" He selfishly avoided further investigation into his past deeds. But, now his attorney has announced that he will ask that the charges be dropped against him. Not that the case be dismissed because the criminal doesn't live any longer - but that the charges be dropped.

I'm thinking that if there are children he raped or molested who haven't been found, knowing that he will never be held responsible for his actions is an injustice. Although, I'm sure his family will be relieved to know that he won't have the on-going label of "child rapist." I'm not sure how that helps -- since they still have to live with the horror of the event itself.

What's in a Name?

Names are important. How you address other people is an indicator of your respect or manners. Business transactions can be derailed by calling someone the wrong name. A name can be an indication of enslavement or individuality.

It is my belief that names are even more significant for women. In the field in which I work, many women recognize the practice of changing one's name upon marriage significant. Heterosexual women sometimes see this as an extension of sexual ownership or loss of individual identity. Homosexual women who are in committed relationships see the different last names as a constant reminder of the denial of marriage rights.

And, there are a variety of ways to remedy this situation. I've seen women hyphenate their names upon marriage. But, I also see them drop the hyphen over the years -- especially if the hyphenated name is especially long or awkward, or if they have children and don't want to saddle children with an especially long name. I know of one couple who both took the hyphenated name so that they would have the same last name. (I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.) And, I know one couple who created a new last name incorporating parts of their original names and both took the new name. I've known lesbian couples who changed their names legally to a hyphenated name.

I didn't change my name when I got married. Some people have clued into this and are respectful. Others insist on calling me by my husband's name.

Some times, when someone calls my husband by my last name, and we gently correct them - they get flustered and assume they have insulted him. However, if they call me by his last name and we gently correct them - I notice they act as if we have insulted them. Very strange.

But today, I had a thought. I attended a meeting today where most of the women in the group had hyphenated last names. I wondered if they assume I took my husband's last name because mine isn't hyphenated? I wonder what other assumptions this leads them to make about my feminist notions or liberal/conservative leanings?

Rape and Oppression

Rape is oppression.

Rape is, regardless of what the federal government believes, a hate crime. The vast majority of victims are female and the vast majority of the perpetrators of this crime are male. It's a fact. Yes, there are female perpetrators and Yes, there are male victims. However, it still remains a fact that those cases are far less common.

The society wide consequence of this fact is that all women must fear rape - and thus must conform to a fairly silly code of conduct in order to "protect themselves" from rapists. By silly code of conduct, I'm talking about includes, but is not limited to, how women dress, how they conduct themselves in business and socially - being friendly but never actually flirting - and keeping doors and windows locked, looking over our shoulders, and never never having the blinds or curtains open if we change our clothes. Nudity, even in private, is scandalous. Women who are known to have a drink or socialize are suspect. The real kicker is that most of these behaviors are ignored or over looked - until a woman is raped. Then, suddenly any behavior is reason she "deserved" it.

The problem with this line of thinking is that it prevents our society from addressing the phenomena of rape as it truly exists and it allows individuals to blame the wrong party for the crime.

And this is why rape is oppression. I know that people around the country are talking about the issues of oppression as the Jena 6 situation is rehashed and reexamined. Racism is oppression. And so is rape. As you talk about the Jena 6 situation, remember that oppression is one of those ills we, as a society, have been combating for generations. All oppressions. But, we must be honest with ourselves about the perpetrators of oppression - and the victims. We can't come to conclusions and remedies until we first see the issue clearly.

Exploiting Women, keeping the profits

As always, you can find my source article by clicking the title.

You know how the Miss America Pageant likes to say they don't exploit women or encourage women to define themselves only by their physical attributes because they are the largest scholarship source for young women in the country? Well, apparently, NOT.

The article cites how pageant winners who try to collect their award scholarships, find red tape, fine print, closed up organizations, and unreturned phone calls.

I don't know for a fact, but have always heard that there are profits to be made in pageants. It seems to me that the fact that so many young women find that the scholarships they earned through pageant participation don't actually exist to be proof positive that many of these pageants are exactly what the critics say they are -- opportunities for individuals to make profits off the bodies of women.

BOOO. HISSS.

Sad Trend

Naturally, because we are concerned with human welfare in this office, we are interested in issues surrounding parenting and helping parents keep their kids safe.

One of the trends I see more and more that makes me sad is how much media is devoted to giving parents information about basic parenting. Right now, I have a "Born Learning" poster over my desk - that urges parents to do things like "talk, sing, and read" to your child and establish a regular routine for the household.

I always assume such is something that would come "naturally" to parents. I was read to everyday when I was a child. I have lost my own voice more times than I can count reading to children.

Today, a co-worker found a book online on parenting. It had such complex suggestions like "ask your child how school went that day" and "have clean clothes for them." Again, if you can haul yourself out of bed and get dressed each day, wouldn't normalish conversation and clean clothes be something a parent would think of on their own?

Not only is this a sad trend -- but I also wonder if those parents who already do everything they can think of to create a safe, warm, and loving home but still find themselves struggling or fighting battles everyday -- what do they think? Is it really helpful to hear "sing to your child" when your child is slamming doors and screaming "I hate you"?

Surely, our society can offer parents more support than that. Surely.

I "respect" Bob Herbert

As always, the link to the article in question is in the title.

I want to make up t-shirts that have " I respect Bob Herbert" on them. I don't want the cutsy heart because it would be too confusing and reek of exploitation. But, I really think this guy gets it. Not just "women's" issues - but issues concerning how some humans treat other humans.

In this article - he reacts to the Mayor of Las Vegas being nearly gleeful at the thought of how much money his city could make if they legalized prostitution. Herbert points out that in many respects, Las Vegas is the epicenter of sexual exploitation in the US. It's disheartening to think that this Mayor completely disregards the real face of sexual exploitation and prostitution in his city -- or the costs to his city because child abuse, runaways, drugs, violence, and gang activity all run in the same cesspool as prostitution and the sex work of Vegas.

This article has me envisioning the whole of Vegas sliding in to hell in the "handbasket" my grandmother use to cite -- with the Mayor like a cherry on top. sigh.