Missed the point

The other day a friend told me of her child's latest fear. The night before, as they were wrapping up the sleepy time ritual, the child became terrified. She didn't want her mother to leave her side. She tearfully explained that she was afraid someone would take her, put her in a cave, and give her bad lollipops.

My friend was at a loss. She ended up holding her child's hand until well after 1am when the child finally went to sleep.

I asked if "stranger danger" had been presented at pre-school. The mother said it had. Clearly, there is a line between teaching children caution and scaring the ever-loving crap out of them.

For pre-school aged children, I would have suggested that the school meet with all the parents and present a program of information about the realities of child safety with a discussion about steps parents can take to better supervise, select better baby sitters, and be more proactive in the overall safety of their children. If a program were presented to children, I would have wanted it to be more empowering and up beat . . . for 3 year olds.

This event followed on the heels of a story a client told me about her church's program on child abuse. She said that they showed all the women in the church a video. In the video the man she described as the "bishop" explained to the women that they way they could insure that their men not sexually abuse their baby girls was for mothers to never allow fathers to change diapers. Apparently, simply viewing a baby's genitals during a routine diaper change is enough to make any man lose all control over their passions.

Somewhere along the line, we are missing the point.