Choice

Biology works, even when we don't want it to, when we aren't prepared for it, and even when it's not fair. Years ago, I heard that a state legislator announced that there was no need to be concerned about the abortion issue and incest or rape . . . because he was a doctor and he could say with medical expertise that it was not biologically possible to get pregnant when the sex was forced or unwanted.

Well, knock me over. Later I learned that the good doctor was actually a dentist . . . and had fallen in with that weird group of people who seem to think that humans really do have control over biology. These are the same people who think that if it were really a rape, then the woman's vagina would be torn up due to lack of lubrication. They have this weird theory that if the body responds the way it is biologically programmed to . . . then the woman must have secretly wanted the sex. I think these are the same weirdos who think that all women secretly want to be raped and so rape isn't really that bad a crime.

But, I've kinda veered off subject. The subject is choice. I absolutely believe that women should have the choice to decide when they become mothers. Our society demands that women be more responsible for children than men. Biologically, women must bear the possible outcomes of sexual intercourse more than men. When and with whom a woman has sex must be an issue of her decision. Use of birth control, although ideally should be a joint decision and endeavor, ultimately is a woman's choice. And, the decision to carry any pregnancy . . . intended or not . . . should be ultimately the woman's choice.

I think that all too often, people equate folks who are "pro-choice" as being "pro-abortion" and that abortion is the only issue at stake. Choice is about personal independence. Choice is about contraception. Choice is about knowing the options and making educated decisions. And, sometimes choice is about carrying or aborting an unintended pregnancy. I'm all for women carrying surprise pregnancies. If not for the SURPRISE! pregnancy, most of us . . . myself included . . . wouldn't be here. But, people who make an informed and educated decision to carry that surprise to delivery are a whole lot less likely to abandon that child in a trash can . . . are less likely to abuse that child . . . and hopefully will have spent the time between discovering the pregnancy and delivery preparing to welcome that child.

The problem with making choice a political issue is that when you refuse to give women the information they need to make good decisions . . . or you tell them that they don't have a choice . . . you are reinforcing just how second-class they are in our society. Because, choice as an issue is always aimed at women. Where are the purity rings for boys? Why don't churches have mother son nights during which sons pledge to their moms that they won't have sex, won't put a girl in the position of a surprise pregnancy until they are married? When have we seen media messages shame boys for pre-marital sex that might have resulted in an abortion?