Fall out

I'm concerned what the ruling in the Texas polygamy case is going to do to child protective services all over the country.

The OJ Simpson case taught law enforcement to be more cautious about arresting quickly. Especially just after the case . . . and the televised lashing handed out to police in that trial . . . I saw law enforcement worry about building an "air tight" case before arresting suspects. The problem is that sometimes, that would take weeks, and victims were left feeling unheard and scared for their lives.

The Duke case has made law enforcement a bit skittish if the victim isn't a "good victim" . . . meaning someone with a record so clean they could run for public office.

Now, seeing the state of Texas claim that the children on the ranch weren't in "immediate danger" and that the rescuing of those children invalid . . . I'm afraid that it will be even harder for children across the country to be rescued.

I don't see how the state of Texas had any choice . . . given the information they had . . . but to take those children. Most states are mandated to protect the children in their state from abuse . . . emotional, physical, sexual, and abandonment. In any state in the country, if Child Protective Services received a call from a teen ager saying she'd been forced into a marriage, forced to bear children, and was being physically abused . . . they would have to intervene. In my state, we first try to get a non-offending parent to take responsibility for the child's safety. Meaning, boot the offender out . . . prevent further abuses, and tend to the child's healing. If the non-offending parent is unavailable or unable or unwilling to take on that responsibility, then the state must, at least temporarily, take custody of the child.

I'm afraid that this case being over turned is going to have ripple effects across the nation . . . and that the people who will suffer are children in the most desperate of circumstances.

Missed the point

The other day a friend told me of her child's latest fear. The night before, as they were wrapping up the sleepy time ritual, the child became terrified. She didn't want her mother to leave her side. She tearfully explained that she was afraid someone would take her, put her in a cave, and give her bad lollipops.

My friend was at a loss. She ended up holding her child's hand until well after 1am when the child finally went to sleep.

I asked if "stranger danger" had been presented at pre-school. The mother said it had. Clearly, there is a line between teaching children caution and scaring the ever-loving crap out of them.

For pre-school aged children, I would have suggested that the school meet with all the parents and present a program of information about the realities of child safety with a discussion about steps parents can take to better supervise, select better baby sitters, and be more proactive in the overall safety of their children. If a program were presented to children, I would have wanted it to be more empowering and up beat . . . for 3 year olds.

This event followed on the heels of a story a client told me about her church's program on child abuse. She said that they showed all the women in the church a video. In the video the man she described as the "bishop" explained to the women that they way they could insure that their men not sexually abuse their baby girls was for mothers to never allow fathers to change diapers. Apparently, simply viewing a baby's genitals during a routine diaper change is enough to make any man lose all control over their passions.

Somewhere along the line, we are missing the point.

Annoyance

While doing the daily scan for headlines concerning sexual violence issues, I found a story about an international hunt for a suspected child rapist. The man in question was arrested, and admits to having traveled to a third world country for the purpose of having sex with young boys. A search of his home turned up 1,000 sexually explicit photos of children and little boy underpants, including at least one pair the suspect described as being a souvenir from his "date" over seas.



But, it gets better . . . this guy made his living entertaining at children's parties and playing santa.

My annoyance comes in from the neighbors and acquaintances quoted in the story about the arrest . . . and I see this sort of thing all the time locally. They all say that he was a wonderful guy and the best santa ever and that he never molested their children so they can't believe these charges are true.

When people express sentiments like this . . . they are working several things at once. They want to reassure themselves that their children weren't victimized and they are trying to wrap their brains around the fact they didn't spot the pervert from 100 yards. But, saying things like this can work to silence victims and their families as well as legitimize the deviant behaviors practiced by people like this guy.

Boundaries

One of the requirements of any type of social work is to have boundaries. I have maintained that doing this sort of work is a life style choice rather than just a job. At the same time, that also means there is a fine line between being available when needed and having no boundaries.

At the same time, I will admit that I am probably harder on student interns than any other group I work with. When my agency accepts an intern, we put a lot of work into that internship. Our whole staff has to make room for helping the student have the most valuable learning experience. Students who are seeking a direct service experience must complete volunteer training before their internship semester. We also require that interns be on call during the work week during their internship semester. We do this because it is the one way we can insure that they get several opportunities to respond to ER calls. But, there are also some pretty significant responsibilities that come with this sort of work. I have to be confident that anyone representing our agency can live up to the responsibilities.

The point to all this was to wind up to a rant. Recently, I received a call from a college student seeking an internship opportunity. She called outside normal business hours. When I responded to the message on my pager, I called back and left a message that I would be in the office the next day and stressed the business hours of our office. I thought that would be hint enough.

But, within 10 minutes, she called me back by hitting redial with her caller ID. This meant that she called my home back. I explained that she'd called my home, that my message clearly asked her to call the office during office hours, and that it was inappropriate for her to call me back at home this way.

Well, several days later, and she has not called back. I have to say, it's a good thing . . . she wouldn't have gotten an internship with us anyway. I am a stickler for following simple instructions. And, I expect students to conduct themselves professionally . . . especially since they are practicing skills they will need once they start doing this work for pay.