Idea: Dating 101

This morning, a co-worker and I were talking about our own introduction to dating. This came up after we talked to a volunteer about her own dating past . . . and the lack of supervision she got from her parents.

My co-worker and I both experienced a fair amount of parental supervision until we were well into adulthood . . . decreasing, of course, as we got older. She and I both had parents who drove and were present when we were younger teens. We both experienced group dates rather than heavy, one-0n-one dates until we were of driving age. We both had parents who stayed up to insure we got home okay, and at a reasonable hour. And, we both experienced parents who felt free to express approval or disapproval even when we were in college and dating people who we ultimately realized were "not our style."

This all stood in stark contrast to what our volunteer experienced . . . from a fairly young age, her parents didn't interfere. She experienced dating with much older boys when she was really too young to date. She recalled boys trying to convince her that sexual activity she wasn't ready for was expected. She also said that she felt like she had to purchase expensive gifts for these boys and lived in terror of the boys telling everyone that she was "easy."

And, during this conversation, I realized that too many young men and women don't get adequate supervision while starting the process of dating, courting, etc. Too many boys and girls go into dating with imagined norms and expectations . . . because our society puts such and emphasis on abstinance education and keeping kids in the dark. Also, so many kids have watched their parents cycle through very adult type relationships . . . not the kind of dating we would expect from kids. Add in an assumption that kids today know more than we did (they don't) . . . and you have a recipe for kids being immature and abusive and ill-equiped to handle the change from playmates to dates.

Perhaps we can prevent a few of the sour experiences . . . or even some of the abuse and really bad behavior . . . if we spent more time teaching kids HOW to date and supervising them as they learn.