No Pollyanna

I think I may have mentioned in passing that my real frustrations with my work isn't the client work . . . or even the administrative stuff that is so deadly dull and never done. It's the tangential stuff. Like when people just refuse to understand what we do . . . or stubbornly cling to wrong ideas about rape or rape victims simply because it would mean they have to change what gets them through the day . . . like that false sense of security.

Any way, a couple of years ago, a local organization that gives my agency a small amount of money . . . and has for quite a few years . . . sent my board a letter saying that they were concerned that if our office weren't open (read . . . if I'm not in the office) 24 hours a day, we couldn't possibly have services available 24-hours a day. Now, the funds they give us go chiefly to our direct services programming . . . including the cost of keeping our phone lines open 24 hours a day with live operators answering the lines when staff is not in the office. We are one of the few agencies in our area that has live operators 24-hours a day. There are other crisis type organizations in my community that rely on pagers activated by an answering machine . . . or over-night voice mail.

When the letter was received, my board was horrified by the utter lack of understanding about our agency and responded appropriately. And, I've come to realize that doing a bit of "self promotion" won't hurt me . . . and that perhaps I have been lazy in the PR area. We also started reporting not just calls taken, but how many were taken outside normal business hours. But, still . . . every time I am in the Emergency Room with a client in the middle of the night, I can't help but remember that letter . . . and have to fight the urge to call their office and let them know that I'm up, doing my job, and where are they?

My new years resolution this year was to find a way to let this bitterness go. I am trying. Really. One of my character flaws is that I can hold onto a grudge like you wouldn't believe . . . even when I know that I'm only hurting myself with it. Perhaps confessing it here will help me let it go.

EDITED: On a side note, my impression from the other groups we receive funds from or work closely with to provide our services is that they all think our agency is terrific and one of the better agencies in the state. Knowing this should balance how the one group regards us.