Boys will be boys? And Fun Friday Story

Today, a co-worker was telling me about a controversy over kids who have taken the "sports" thing of smacking each other on the arse to a whole new level and are now smacking each other on the arse in the halls and other inappropriate times and places.

Now, my understanding is that the butt smack in football is more an expression of congratulations between equals. A butt smack conveys "good job" and "dude" and "there is no I in team" and all that good stuff about team sports. It is generally given and received as a good gesture and again, between equals. I assume that the butt smacking in the halls and in class is much more about touching each other - or hurting each other - or freaking out the old people.

I think this is a great "teaching moment" for the teachers/coaches/other responsible adults. I think you explain why they can't do this in the halls, etc - establish a rule and sanctions for breaking the rule. I don't think having the little monsters charged with sex offenses is necessarily the most appropriate way to model or teach appropriate behaviors. I actually am disturbed by how often adults think the appropriate way to deal with misbehavior of young kids is to have them brought up on criminal charges.

But, this reminds me of a story - and since I'm taking a bit of "me" time tomorrow and not going to be able to post a fun Friday client story, I thought I'd leave y'all with this one.

Years ago, I had a friend who worked in a similar agency in another community. She was somewhat older than me at the time, and I thought of her as something of a mentor. She had two little boys. She and her husband were committed to rearing their children in a non-violent home. They didn't allow toy weapons of any type, the regulated television/movies/videos for violent content, and they modeled the behavior they wanted their children to adopt.

One night, while entertaining company - one of her little boys (I think he was pre-school aged at the time) ran into the living room where they were enjoying coffee and conversation. He was naked, and he grabbed his penis and said "pa-pow, pa-pow, pa-pow! I shot you all, I shot you all dead" and ran out of the room. My friend was utterly mortified. She couldn't even begin to understand or explain where that behavior came from, other than to say that little boys can make guns out of everything.