A good Man (and woman)

So, building on yesterday's post, what makes for a good man? (or woman?)

First - violence is never even a consideration for winning arguments or solving problems. That's a given. For both men and women.

Second - a person who truly loves you wants what is best for you - whether it is the most comfortable or convenient thing for them. For example: if you want to take a class for work or personal reasons, a person who loves you will take on extra responsibilities so you can be away for those hours - or will make sure you have dinner waiting for you when you get home.

Third - a person who is mature enough to be in a real relationship is able to listen to the other person's needs and wants - and change when change is needed. For example: I am more social than my husband and thus like to have guests over any ol' time. My husband is more routine oriented and having a change in the routine is something he needs to plan for -- so, I've learned that we are less spontaneous about bringing people home - and he is more willing to let me entertain more on weekends.

Fourth - it's important for couples to ban together rather than against each other. Life is hard enough - and there always seems to be something unexpected lurking in the back ground you could really live without. But, if you take it out on each other too, you are destroying the natural support you have when times are hard. It is really important that while weathering lifes' weirdnesses, you realize that you have to make decisions so that you as a couple survives. (and not in some totally co-dependent, controlling way - but in a way where both members of the couple are strengthened.)

I'll think of more from time to time -- but that's it for today.