Friday Fun Client Stories

This happened many many years ago. But, I still marvel at it.

We had a regular caller who would never give her real name. The name she made up for herself was a body part - a non-sexual body part. I'm going to call her "Nose" just for ease.

I suspected that Nose had some development issues, and thus we were particularly careful with her. Also, although I'm not trained as a social worker per se, I have taken both undergraduate as well as graduate level social work courses and have a basic understanding of the history of social work as a lifestyle choice as well as some of the basic tenets.

One of the values of social work I greatly appreciate is that of "self determination of the client." Also, I firmly believe that when someone is engaging in dangerous behaviors (prostitution, drug use, cutting, random sex, etc) that a more effective approach is to help them understand what they believe they are getting out of the behavior and what the harms - potential and existing - are and steps that can be taken to get what the client wants and needs from healthier behaviors. (did that make any sense?)

Anyway, Nose was engaging in regular, unprotected sex with a man she described as being quite a bit older than her. She said that she didn't know his actual name but a nick name - and for the sake of ease, I'm going to refer to him as the "Fuller Brush Man" -- he wasn't a salesman, but he seemed to make regular visits into Nose's neighborhood. Essentially, what she described to me was him showing up once or twice a month when he seemed to know her mother would be away - and they would have intercourse, and he would leave.

Rather than tell this client she "Couldn't" continue this - I started to talk to her about protecting herself from the risks -- such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Nose quickly informed me that she didn't think she could get pregnant. She was in her 30s, had been having sex since she was a teen, and had never gotten pregnant despite never using birth control. I pointed out that even if she'd never been pregnant up until now, didn't necessarily guarantee she couldn't get pregnant. She sighed and repeated that she COULD NOT GET PREGNANT. I asked her why she believed this.

She sighed the sigh you give when you are dumbing down your statements for those too stupid to get it the first twenty times, and said "you know how women have eggs? well, I've never laid an egg. So, I can't get pregnant."

While trying to wrap my brain around these statements, I learned that she believed that when other women were having their periods, they were actually laying eggs. Like chicken eggs. She said that she only bled but she'd never seen an egg.

I had to try to convince her that the eggs human women have are very very tiny and she' isn't going to see them. I'm not sure I convinced her. But, I also never heard from her again either -- so I don't know if she decided I was too stupid to talk to or if I'd rocked her world with this information.